Day to day

This is terrifically written and I can so relate to the brat, the obedient sub and the professional. Thank you for sharing.

Respectfully Submitted

Prompt Set #134

– Do adversities amplify your submissive tendencies, or submerge them?

Both as a wife and as a submissive, adversities tend to submerge my submissive tendencies.  This is one of the areas where the lines between the egalitarian h/w relationship and the D/s relationship are sometimes hazy.  It is hard to even describe.  There are times when as a wife, there is a challenging situation that has kicked my butt and I am on the ground.  I am balling on the inside, but you see a woman with a steely resolve and a cold demeanor on the outside.  After over a decade together, my husband sees this and offers the figurative hand to pick me up.  Heck, he waves the hand or even straight up bear hugs me.  I push him away.  I find that it is at the end of the day during His time, that I…

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Wonderful vacation

2015-07-20 11.45.20

Vacation with daddy was incredibly relaxing and fun at the same time.  A whole week of being together and while my kids were with us, lots of time for just us.

We spent a lot of time in the car together and the wonderful lighthearted, playful banter we shared set the tone for the trip. It helped us relax and just be us, together.  (little things)  We did have some serious discussions mid week but even those didn’t weigh us down for long.

Most mornings spent on the beach, he tanning and me under an umbrella. He got me to be adventurous and go out into the ocean and jumping waves.  2015-07-20 19.35.52 Afternoons spent playing mini-golf.  I beat him once, he beat me three times, but our scores were so close to each other’s – never more than 3 points between us.  Loved being able to keep up with him.  2015-07-19 13.22.46 Then we would spend time in our great vacation house, enjoying the air conditioning. Typically him napping and me reading, yet I would eventually nap myself.  Evenings were always a mix.  Going out to enjoy what the town had to offer or just sitting on the beach and taking pictures.  One night we sat on the beach until it was really dark out.  Enjoyed good food, fireworks and lots of fun times. 2015-07-20 19.34.20

One of my favorite experiences was our helicopter ride.  We took a brief helicopter tour over Myrtle Beach and I loved the pictures I got from it.  Had so much fun.    2015-07-24 12.38.41

Now daddy and I are back to routines and everyday life. We miss each other a lot and working on how to spend more time together. Work keeps us both busy and school will start soon for me.  We’ve enjoyed this summer and of course vacation was what we both needed to reconnect.

Here are a few pics that sum it all up.

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Hope you all have or will have your own great moments.

Bumps in the Road

Mt Everest Climb

Why does bumps in the road sometimes feel like climbing Mt. Everest?

When it comes to relationships, bumps in the road happen.  They are faced and dealt with and you get past them.  If you are smart enough to see that the road keeps going beyond the bump, that is.  I face most things this way, seeing past the bump and moving on while learning from it at the same time.

Recently, daddy and i had a bump in our road.  He understood that and he worked to get us past it and moving forward.  Ok, this bump was more like a hill or steep incline…. but nevertheless, I saw it as the tallest mountain to climb and no road beyond the top of it, so we would have to build from scratch.

As a little and a submissive with next to no patience, I didn’t like the mountain climb only to have to rebuild everything we spent a year building.  It seems unfair and I want the happy journey we were on to continue.  Waiting for Daddy to take the ropes and decide where to start.

What I didn’t see or conceptualize is that Daddy got us safely over the hill, no ropes needed and we could continue on our journey as the road was already built for us.  I only had to turn around to see it instead of looking off in the distance.

How many times have you thought things were worse than they were? How did you handle them? What prompted you to see what was in plain sight?

Thank you Daddy for helping me to see you had us through all of this and still do.

My Rock

When Budgeting Becomes Overwhelming

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything about my journey.  A lot has been going on and my heart and mind have been overwhelmed.  I’ve shut down and I’ve not been a good submissive, girlfriend, lover, friend, etc.  I focused on work and school to help me, and that further shut me down as I wasn’t being true to myself or the one I love.

I’m coming back to my senses and to myself thanks to my daddy. He isn’t perfect. He makes mistakes, little and big but he owns them and makes changes to fix them. He is my love, my world. He supports me even thru my mistakes.  He helps me to see them, acknowledge them and grow from the experiences.  He makes difficult decisions, including ones that I don’t like or cause me hurt feelings, but he does them with us in mind.  He makes difficult decisions that are for us, to help us heal and move forward.  He has so much strength and I honestly love him all the more.

Daddy is my rock, he deserves my respect and my love. He is “higher than I” because I gave him that gift.  He is showing me what that means to him in ways I never could expect.  He is showing me what a true Dominant is and should be.  No one else has ever put me first in their lives and he not only makes me a priority but he is showing me unconditional love. A very new thing for me to experience.  Thank you daddy.

While I know he only expects love and respect in return, I know I owe him far more than that for what he plans for us and me. I can only repay him by truly deepening my submission and trusting that he will only act in our best interests and he will protect me and my interests.

Daddy know that you are loved and valued. I will work with you to ensure our hurts are learned from and we move forward. I will work on myself to repair the parts broken. You are my world and I will honor you and you are honoring me.  I am yours and you are mine.

Tantrum

It was bound to happen at some point… My little melted down and had a tantrum.

Tears abounded and hurt feelings were had.  Logic had no place in this emotion led tale.

Daddy has had to take a 2nd job for the holidays. He works long hours at his regular job and then this 2nd one takes advantage of him by scheduling him and then changing the schedule last minute. While not intended, he has ended up working every single weekend (all weekend) for the past 2 months.  I’ve tried to keep logic in mind and to guide Miss little through it, but alas she broke.

I was supposed to see Daddy last night and with one night’s notice, I learned that they were having him work again.  I was sad and tried to swallow the bitter pill thinking there would still be time this weekend.  I did learn that he would now be available to spend Christmas Eve with me and my family and friends.  I was happy about that and tried to keep the focus there.

Unfortunately, I asked about the weekend and didn’t hear back from him, so I knew that it wasn’t gonna happen. I lost my holiday spirit and my logic left the building. I became hurt and angry. When we had time to text about it, there wasn’t any hope given. No spark of us seeing each other til next week.  And then it happened, I spewed off words that not only hurt him, but hurt me more. I cried and couldn’t get anything done. I wanted to scream and throw things (managed to not do this) but I wasn’t happy. I tried to keep the words respectful and tried to avoid them, but he wasn’t having it.  He let me know that I was distrusting him and disrespecting that he was doing all he could given the situation.  After this weekend, there is only one more day he has to do this crazy schedule.  I couldn’t hear the words. I was lost in the emotion and the sadness of not being in his arms, even if it meant that I’d only see him to go to sleep.  I know I’d hate that as we wouldn’t be able to enjoy each other, he would be too tired from working 17 straight hours only to go back in a few hours later.

On and on this went and finally he put an end to the tantrum letting me know he will not tolerate it. He understands I’m not happy and that I’m sad. He knows I know that he loves me but he will not tolerate the distrust and disrespect.  The words finally struck and I suddenly was more upset that I made him think I distrusted him and that I was disrespecting our relationship.

He wanted me to curl up in bed with my throw blanket and relax. To think of him and know that he is doing everything he can for the two of us.  I couldn’t sleep until I knew he was home from work. My submission is always there, even when we aren’t together. I had forgotten that lately because of his hectic schedule.  He is patient with me and my grad school schedule, and I need to be patient with his short term schedule that is out of his control.  Being reminded of my place and the committment to our relationship was what I needed to jolt me out of my emotional tantrum.

Hugs Daddy. xoxo

Self Reflection and Being Grateful

reflection

I’m a Little….. what does that mean?  This was the start of several months of deep reflection and a deeper look into myself.  This has led to a much more balanced and happier me.

When I first had the little thoughts, I truly thought I was crazy. Not me!  I couldn’t be a little, I’m so in control, focused and always by the book.  How on earth am I a little.  Well the truth was, I hid my little deep inside. I prevented her from coming out and I kept walls up around me so that no one could see that childlike vulnerability.

But oh did she ever come out in ways that I never understood.  I’ve had friendships and relationships that had ups and downs (normal right!)…. well some of them cared enough to tell me that what I thought and felt wasn’t always how I portrayed myself to the outside world. That only a few really were given the vantage of knowing my heart and thoughts.   So I always believed that it was my walls that were there to protect me from being hurt or walked all over. When the reality was, those things still happened.

What I learned in my little coming out, is that my emotional reactions to situations were my little’s reactions and because I denied her, I didn’t see them as others saw them. I was blinded by my walls.  My reactions were very much childish and sometimes selfish but more often than not, my reactions led to an unhappiness that was my own doing. I took everything personally and I defended myself even when it wasn’t necessary.  My emotional behavior was very childlike because it was the only way I apparently ever let my little out.  When I was sad or hurt.

Now seeing this in myself and knowing where it comes from, can I truly grow.  I’m not there yet as this is only the beginning, but with Daddy’s guidance and encouragement I’m stronger than my little feels and being vulnerable is far more ok than my exterior adult understands.

Yes, I said Daddy…. my little is very much happy with the term given to my cherished Sir and my adult is trying to understand the why.  They are working together and that is where the balance comes in. My adult acknowledging my little and working to let them have their needs met is something I’m mindful of these days.

I’m grateful to those littles that I follow and those that read my blog for sharing their lives and helping me to see just how natural it really is to be a little. I’m grateful to those that tried to help me see in past relationships because you set the foundation for me to understand at some point. I’m grateful to my friends and loved ones that accept me for who I am and don’t find my little to be a fault. And I’m grateful to Daddy for guiding me out and teaching my adult how to play nice.

I’m definitely a happier me these days.

Our Contract

I’ve been asked to share the agreement/ contract that D and I signed utilizing wonderful contracts written by others and adding in our own pieces of the puzzle.

Dominant and submissive Agreement

Created on August 16, 2014

This document serves as an agreement which defines in specific terms the power exchange relationship and interaction between two individuals, hereafter termed the submissive and the Dominant. This agreement is only binding between the two people signed below. This agreement is entered voluntarily with both parties agreeing to the conditions.

This agreement is intended to guide the two individuals on their journey together, and while the primary intention is to please the Dominant, it is also intended to shape the submissive into a better, happier, and stronger woman, and to help the couple grow together spiritually, lovingly, mentally, and physically. This agreement shall serve as the basis for an extension of the relationship, committed to in the spirit of loving and consent. Dominance and submission with the intention of furthering self-awareness and exploration, promoting health and happiness, and improving both our lives.

This contract has a life of 6 months. At its expiration a new contract may be created and signed.

  Section I: The Dominant’s role

a)      The Dominant agrees to care for the submissive to include tending to the physical safety and emotional and mental well-being of the submissive as long as He owns the submissive.

b)      The Dominant also accepts the commitment to treat the submissive properly, to train and discipline the submissive, punish the submissive, love the submissive, and use the submissive as He sees fit.

c)      The Dominant accepts the responsibility to use His power to mold and shape the submissive, assist the submissive to grow in strength, character, confidence and being, and to help her become a better woman in all areas of her life.

d)     The Dominant will not ever purposefully ignore the submissive.

e)      It shall be the Dominant’s duty, with applicable assistance from the submissive, to watch for and prevent any mental or emotional trauma which may stem from the condition of servitude, activities within the condition of service, or any other variable that is based within the confines of this contract.

f)       The Dominant will be faithful to the submissive, and will be honest and loyal to her at all times.

g)      The Dominant will always be open to the submissive’s concerns and thoughts, worries and stresses, and will encourage her to always open up and express her feelings and concerns to Him without fear of punishment.

h)   The Dominant agrees to not submit the submissive to a session when he might not be in the proper frame of mind to administer it.

i)     The Dominant will always support the submissive through encouragement in her relationships with family and friends as well as through her career.

j)      The Dominant will not keep the submissive or their relationship isolated from other aspects of his daily life.

 Section II: The submissive’s role

a)      The primary purpose of the submissive is to serve, obey, and please the Dominant, in a manner seem fit by the Dominant.

b)      The submissive will put her entire trust into the Dominant with the knowledge that He will never betray that trust.

c)      The submissive shall follow rules, rituals and guidelines as established by the Dominant, with the understanding that breaking a rule, ritual or guideline will lead to some form of punishment as dictated by the Dominant.

d)     The submissive agrees to follow the direction and commands from the Dominant both in and out of the bedroom.

e)      The submissive will always respond to the sexual needs of the Dominant at any time in any manner that he sees fit, unless responding to His needs violates any other aspect of this contract. This includes engaging in sexual activities with the Dominant that might be outside of her comfort zone but she will do them as they please him.

f)       The submissive will be faithful to the Dominant and will be honest and loyal to him at all times.

g)      The submissive will at all times act in a manner that is respectful of the Dominant, to include manners of speech, promptness, proper answers, obedience, loyalty, and honesty, with the understanding between both of them that the submissive shall not have to necessarily alter her personality.

h)      The submissive will take proper care of her body in a manner that is pleasing to the Dominant and with guidance from him if necessary.

i)        If the situation feels warranted by the Dominant, the Dominant may demand the submissive make other adjustments to lifestyle.

j)        When not in His presence, the submissive will maintain regular contact with the Dominant, to include informing Him of her schedule and activities. Regular contact is to include phone calls, text messages, or emails. The submissive will do everything in her capacity to respond promptly to all communications from the Dominant, and must never make the Dominant feel ignored by her.

k)    The submissive will not keep the Dominant or their relationship isolated from other aspects of her daily life.

l)        His reliance on safewords obligates me to use them and I Promise to do so. I will use “yellow” as a warning word to request that the Dominant slow down, ease up, or change direction while continuing the session. I will use “red” to immediately end a scene or session

m)    Additionally, the submissive agrees to the following:

a.       To strive to overcome feelings of guilt or shame, and all inhibitions that interfere with her capability to serve the Dominant and limit her growth as his submissive

b.      To reveal her thoughts, feelings, and desires without hesitation or embarrassment

c.       To inform the Dominant of her wants and perceived needs, recognizing that he is the judge of whether or how these shall be satisfied

d.      To strive toward maintenance of a positive self-image and development of realistic expectations and goals

e.       To work with the Dominant to become a happy and self-fulfilled individual

f.       To work against negative aspects of my ego and my insecurities that would interfere with advancement of these aims

 Section III: Other Partners

The Dominant understands that the submissive entered the relationship with a Polyamorous tendency.  The submissive agrees to discuss any potential partner with the Dominant and develop acceptable boundaries to remain true to the Dominant/submissive relationship created in this agreement.

The Dominant expresses desire and interest in the submissive having other intimate partners. The Dominant agrees that any intimate partner of his choosing must agree to all hard limits and treat submissive with respect and respect of the Dominant and submissive’s relationship. The submissive agrees that any intimate partner of her choosing will treat her with respect and respect of the Dominant and submissive’s relationship and accepting of the boundaries established by the Dominant.

The Dominant agrees that any partner for himself will be discussed in advance with the submissive and will develop acceptable boundaries to remain true to the Dominant/submissive relationship created in this agreement.

 Section IV:  Limits

The Dominant and submissive have discussed and provided one another a listing of hard limits.  It is agreed upon that these limits include no permanent marks or piercings, no permanent bodily harm, no illegal activities or any play involving children or animals, no play involving blood, scat or direct fire.

 Section V:  Punishments

The submissive and the Dominant agree that appropriate punishments are necessary for the growth of the submissive. Punishments are dependent on the severity of the infraction. Punishments will be used to change the behavior and remind the submissive of this agreement.

Dominant will inform submissive that she is being punished when punishment occurs. He will explain the reason for punishment either before, during, or following punishment. The Dominant agrees to discipline only out of a desire to better the submissive, and further agrees to never punish out of, or during, feelings of anger.

 Section VI: Alteration of contract

This contract may not be altered, except when both Dominant and submissive jointly agree. If the contract is altered, the new contract shall be printed and signed, and then the old contract must be destroyed.

 Section VII: Termination of Contract

Should either Dominant or submissive find that their aspirations are not being well served by this agreement, find this commitment too burdensome, or for any other reason wish to cancel, either may do so by verbal notification to the other, in keeping with the consensual nature of the agreement.

We both understand that cancellation means a cessation of the control stated and implied within this agreement, not a termination of our relationship as friends and/or lovers. Should the relationship as lovers and/or friends terminate, this agreement becomes null and void.

Upon cancellation, each agree to offer the other their reasons and assess our new needs and situation openly and lovingly.

 Section VIII: submissive’s signature

With a free mind and open heart; do request of Dominant that he accept the submission of my will unto him and take me into his care and guidance, that we may grow together in love, trust, and mutual respect. The satisfaction of his wants, desires, and whims are consistent with my desire as a submissive to be found pleasing to him. To that end, I offer him the use of my time, talents, and abilities.

My surrender as a submissive is done with the knowledge that nothing asked of me will demean me as a person, and in no way diminish my own responsibilities toward making use of my potential.

Signature____________________________________________  Date_______

 Section IX: Dominant’s signature

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this submissive as my property, and to care for her to the best of my ability. I shall command her, train her, love her, and punish her as a submissive. I shall always treat her with respect. I understand the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall come to the submissive as long as she is mine.

Signature____________________________________________  Date________

 

GOALS FOR THE SUBMISSIVE FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS

1.    To get into better physical shape and maintain physical fitness throughout the year

2.    To continue working on her patience.

 

GOALS FOR THE DOMINANT FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS

1.         To get into better physical shape and maintain physical fitness throughout the year

2.         To be more available in order to grow and strengthen the relationship

 

Signed in Ink

contract

 

Without fanfare the contract has been signed.  We spent time reading over it, and a planned discussion kept being postponed. This past weekend we sat down asked each other if there was anything they wanted to change, add or delete.  Hearing none, it was done.  We signed each other’s copies.  Then we kissed.  It was as simple as that.

In spite of the lack of ceremony around it, I have to say that in my pulling this contract together, it is a testament to how much we have discussed what is important to each of us.  I was able to add what I’ve heard were his important points and I could add my own. There were no surprises.  Clearly our communication is working.  (happy little things).

In putting together this particular contract, I did consider many things as I talked about in Writing the Contract however, I wanted the right words, and I wanted to use a format that made sense.  So I took a look at what I could find in the blogs here and by searching on Google.  I found three or four that various points hit home with me and that’s what I used to shape the contract for D and i.  After putting in those points, I went through to edit them to be true to us.  I went through a second time to add in our specifics based on our communications.  I went through a third time to edit the format. 

In one example I had looked at they created goals for the term of the contract.  I loved this idea and incorporated it post signature as the goals are not part of the definition of our dynamic, more they give us a starting point.  I put things for him that I know he wishes to accomplish and that I wish for him to focus on.  He did the same for me. 

So while no fanfare, no cheering, no ribbon cutting ceremonies.  D and i have a wonderful Dominance/submissive contract to start us off.  This one is termed at 6 months because we are still new to each other and I felt in 6 mos. we may want to make adjustments to it.  This forces us to face things at that time. 

Happy Dom, happy sub.

 

Brat Comes Out and forgetting a task…

I’m not normally a bratty sub.  I don’t tend to brat to get attention (not intentionally anyway). So its odd that I find that my brat is peeking out with my new Dom.

Why is that?   A few thoughts have come to mind…. but before I get to my reasons, I thought I’d ask all of you…. what brings out your brat (or your sub’s brat)?

My own analysis of this, is a combination of a few things….

  • I’m happy and more carefree than in previous relationships
  • I’m feeling secure in his interest in me
  • I’m comfortable being me….. playful, snarky, teasing, cheesy
  • I’m testing the waters a bit in getting to know him better (want to see his dark side)
  • I’m craving…..  rules, use, to show me who is in charge

Now keep in mind we’ve only been together two months and we’ve taken some things slow.  Mainly because I’ve never dated someone I didn’t know as a friend first, so this is new territory for me. We also live an hour away from each other.  And we’ve had other life things going on requiring our time/attention.  So while I have daily tasks and there is daily communication, there aren’t “rules” yet.

This week I did something I’ve never done before…. and it bothers me.   I forgot a task.  I could make excuses up, but that’s all they are.  The worst was the task is a fun one.  But I completely forgot about it until he asked how I was doing with it at the end of the day. Boy did I feel bad.  He keeps telling me its okay, he will make sure I don’t forget again.  He asked me what I thought a proper punishment should be.  I don’t know…. never been punished for forgetting a task, let alone a fun one. However, I do feel relieved that he will punish me after he returns home from his trip and we see each other next. I screwed up and I know the only way to feel better is to accept the consequences of my disobedience.

So again, I ask what causes your brat (or Your sub’s brat) to come out.  Is it intentional or not?  Also, have you (or Your sub) forgotten a task?  if so, what types of punishment was appropriately administered?  (of course if you are up for sharing).