Shopping… a better word for dating these days


Shopping is my term for this online dating or “seeing what’s out there” in the world we live in.   I coined the term when my Dom at the time would begin to spend his free time online at sites like CM or Fet and just peruse the boards.  He hated the phrase because I indicated that I felt he was searching for another sub to join the family.  The reality is he was always keeping his eyes open in case he came across someone that would mesh.

So being a single sub and feeling ready to get out there, having never done the online dating thing or the search for Mr. Right before, Yes I’ve had boyfriends and even married one of them, I’ve also had a Dom but they all were friends first.  Our friendship turned into dating or being in service to.  This was a whole new market for me. Thus I found myself “shopping” for a Dom.

What sites to post on, what to reveal about myself, what to look for, what to expect from communications, how fast to move, what about pics?  Oh my, the questions went on.   It is overwhelming to say the least.  But like shopping for new clothes or shoes, you have the opportunity to see the merchandise and try on what you like. No commitments and nothing lost if it doesn’t fit you.

So using that mindset, I looked over a few sites I was already on, read some message boards, looked over profiles of friends and started to think about my shopping list.  What was I really looking for, what was I ready to give and how did those connect.  Then I updated my profiles and set my search criteria on those sites.  Then I spent time reading (a lot of time reading) profiles and then I’d get messages from those that have seen my profile. I’d chat with them and ask questions, I’d answer some about myself and we’d determine fairly quickly if there was anything to go on to the “next step”.  Usually means, IM’ing to converse without the commitment or risk of sharing my name and number.

The humor is this is almost the same thing when you are buying an important appliance for your home, you check out the consumer affairs, testimonials, etc.  You ask the store clerk questions.  You look for what you want and you don’t settle until it feels right. You shop.

Shopping is my word for dating these days in the online world we have all adapted to. Is it the best way, I’m not sure. But I know I get to meet people at my own pace and I don’t feel pressured to make a purchase (commit to anyone).  My advice is take your time, know what you want and search it out.

Happy Shopping!





Buried under so much stress

i can’t think, hurts to feel

One touch, one caress

You care, You make me feel


How is it that You reach into my soul?

How can You hurt me and heal me at the same time?

How can You say words that sound so bad yet

feel so right?


my heart aches for comfort yet i long for harsh use

For Your marks, for the deep reminders of where i belong

my mind aches for reassurances yet i know, can feel You

Everything is alright in a world that pushes to be so wrong


Why do You care?

Why are You there?

Why do You see through me?


It doesn’t matter because You do

i matter because of me

i matter because of You

All that matters is W/we


With You, i know i belong

Buried under so much stress

You bring calmness to my mind

Even if just for a few short moments


Your arms provide strength

Your embrace provides warmth

Your heart provides security

Your words provide truth

Your eyes provide comfort

Your soul provides love


Too much stress

Too many thoughts

Too many decisions

You cut to my core

You make me feel

You help me heal