As D and I are working on amending our contract to further reflect who we are as a couple and how we want to build our relationship, I realized it is like drafting blueprints. In today’s business world you architect solutions to solve workplace problems. Is it any different for your relationships?
To architect your relationship, the client and the architect (Dominant and submissive playing both parts) must sit down and decide what it is they want. What are the goals, the purpose? What needs and desires must this fulfill? What else matters to them? These conversations create the concept.
Then they put all that together to create the image, what it could look like and how it can be laid out. The rough draft, so to speak. Things get moved around, discussed further and tweaked until they feel that it solidifies what they were seeking.
From there a formal drawing (contract) is created. Still more tweaks are necessary as the specific language, formatting and style are determined, much like when the engineer gets a hold of the drawings.
Once all is agreed upon and the drawings are signed off on, its time to ready and pour the foundation. Timing, weather, materials and several other factors will determine when building can begin.
As you begin to build, is everything done precisely as drawn out? Most likely the answer is no. Many find there are other things they want or need at this point that they did not know at the beginning. New rules might need adhered to or established. It is truly an on-going conversation and the need for flexibility in the process is critical.
This is where D and I find ourselves. We had a great contract that met all of our needs when written out, but have found that there are other aspects that we did not take into account. While our relationship is growing and evolving, so too must our D/s agreement and what we need and desire from one another and from our dynamic. Our relationship is deeper than many vanilla relationships and because of that the foundation we have already built needs expanded and with rough terrain at times, we need to account for that so that our structure that we are building will stand firm against the elements and stand the test of time.
So here is to architecting your relationships, just as you would building your home from scratch. Dream it, draw it, tweak it, pour it and build it to meet your goals, needs and desires.