Thought of the day – can I still be polyamorous now that my little is roaming free?
As I ponder this thought and ask if anyone has any insights to share…. I’ll provide a brief background.
Several years ago, I allowed by submissive nature to flourish. I gave it the freedom from the box I kept it hidden in. I ventured into the lifestyle of D/s and fell in love with a Polyamorous Dominant. I became a member of a poly family. No we did not live together and we kept it very hush hush. The Dom was poly, and his subs were monogamous to him. If bi- they could play together with his permission. Being a straight newbie, I thought this made sense. I did not question it. Too often I heard the phrase “you are not poly” said to me in disdain. Eventually the Dom and I broke up because I couldn’t cut it in his family.
I spent the next two years, involved with the poly community in my area as many of my friends are poly and I wanted to know why was I not poly. Come to find out that yes I am. I just wasn’t his version of poly. This was an a-ha moment at a PolyLiving Conference.
See I believed in polyamory – multiple loves. Your heart cannot be told who to love and who not to. Some of those loves may be romantic partners, some may be very good friends that you consider family. Some may be your Dom and or sister subs. It is just like the D/s lifestyle, it is what suits you. Through the conference, the community and friends, I have found a place in the world where I fit in. I believe that love is freedom and if you place it in a cage, it cannot flourish. That is not to say that one becomes promiscuous either. It simply means, if you fall in love, allow it to happen.
When Sir and I got together, I told him I was poly and had a small group of poly friends that I consider my chosen family as well as a poly community where I am an active member. He did not waver, in spite of not being poly himself. This allowed us to really dig in and talk about things. We worked things out and I was allowed to have another partner so long as our boundaries and rules were adhered to. It has worked out nicely as his rules are fair and he is always approachable to talk.
Now with my little out and about, I feel myself questioning poly all over again. Can I be poly and in my little state? Can she handle it? Poly takes work, it takes control of your emotions. She isn’t good with that. In hindsight, that might have been what happened in my first poly family attempt – my little ran my emotions without my acknowledgement of her.
I don’t know what the answer is right now. I’m sure I will be exploring this further……