It could be in helping a friend move, or it could be in other more pleasurable ways. I’ve been loaned out before, but former was always present. And safety precautions taken. The humiliation that brings speaks to a darker side of my needs and desires.
With D, to date, I’ve been able to choose anyone that I’m with in that way. I don’t decide the what we do, but I get to decide who I’m willing to play with. That in itself gives me confidence and a secure comfort.
My thoughts and feelings vary depending upon who I’m with. I prefer to have a friendship outside of any play/use that may happen. Without this, I’m much more timid and will focus solely on pleasing my Dom. When there is a friendship, I’ll be in the moment giving and receiving pleasure. When done, my thoughts turn to my Dom and his pleasure from it.
I’m still coming to terms with this part of myself and my submission. Not because it doesn’t fit, but because it does. The fact that D knew this about me within the first few times talking was unsettling, but now it provides a peace because I don’t have to worry about it so much and I know he takes care of me. Former knew it too and he expanded on it and pushed me, sometimes too far too fast, but they innately knew how to reach and train me.
I realize this is a bit of a jumbled mess of thoughts, so forgive me. I’m embracing my natural being and the words itched to come out.
Disclaimer: I feel the need to have a disclaimer here for others who might be loaned out for service. I’ve read about subs being loaned out to strangers where their Dom is not present. This scares me. So many issues pop up in my mind. I hope that others engaging in this service raise those concerns with their Dom. Safe, Sane and Consensual are critical.
I’ve been lucky in this way, but I’m also very self protective too. I know I am a pleasure slave and to be whole, I need this. However, I’m also a woman and to receive the enormous amounts of pleasure that come with it, I also need to protect me and my partners. Its still my job to ensure my safety if others are not thinking about it.