Why I don’t want a Daddy!


In my last post, a reader didn’t understand why my little doesn’t want a daddy.  I’m trying to understand that myself. 

What I do know is that I had a daddy and rarely saw him due to a divorce and his military career kept him away a lot. I loved him immensely and I knew he loved me.  He died when I was 21 and I knew I’d never have another daddy nor did I want anyone to replace him.  When I got married, I couldn’t call my father in law  “dad”, it didn’t feel right to me. It felt like a betrayal to my father.

For the past six + years in this lifestyle, I’ve known many littles and I’ve known their daddies.  I’ve always liked their dynamics and felt happiness for them. With my former Master, he wasn’t Master or Sir, he was my “King”.  I looked up to him, I revered him, I submitted before him.  That was powerful.

Now that I’m in a new relationship and learning that I have a little in me that is venturing out, I’ve had to think about what that means for me.  With D, I haven’t found the right name/title for him.  Sir works well in my acknowledgement of his requests and his real name in our general conversations. But “daddy” doesn’t feel right. 

He exudes many of the qualities of a daddy dom.  His love, protection and cherishing of me is evident in his words and actions.  He is guiding me like a daddy would.  But he isn’t a daddy. He is my lover, my strength. He is my protector and my mate.  He is my partner.

This still doesn’t answer why I don’t need a daddy.  I guess it comes down to my dad, gave me life, gave me love, and was there when I needed him as a child and adolescent in ways that he could. My little is on that edge of growing up but what she needs to learn, isn’t from her daddy.  Its from herself.  Its finding her own voice, her independence, her own strengths.  To take what her parents instilled in her and find her truth.  To stand with another who will share in her journey and support her goals and help fill her desires. My little wants to grow up, she is ready for it. She needs that person or persons in her life that nurture that growth and show her how to not be scared of the scary world of being an adult.

Every little with a daddy is extremely lucky to have him and I am filled with joy for you.  For my little, she is lucky to have someone who understands her and sees the little girl in the adult world and is there to guide her.  So no daddy for my little, but someone who treats her like a daddy would want for their little girl.




10 thoughts on “Why I don’t want a Daddy!

  1. I can understand why you chose not to have a “daddy”. Titles really don’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. What’s more important is that you feel fulfilled in your relationship. Doesn’t matter what you call him or yourself – as long as you are true to yourself.

  2. Your last few posts about finding your little have hit me rather hard as I see one in myself, however I feel restrained to let her fully bloom as I don’t feel the “daddy” title is something I should partake on in any level. I’m hesitant to even fully examine the little in me. I think that is deep rooted because of my past. I think you as well as anyone who has embraced the fact that they have a little are all very brave. I continue to struggle with understanding it all. :/ I look forward to reading more from you.

    1. Thank you for the very kind words. If you ever want to chat about things feel free to message me. I’m learning there is nothing wrong with having a little. It can even be fun.

      Hugs to you.

      1. I will surly keep that in mind. I think the part I’m stuck on, is the sexual aspect of everything. I’ve always considered myself open-minded and while I have no judgment on anyone. I just don’t think I could wrap my head around it. How could I be any sort of sexually involved with someone who had a daddy label to me. Maybe it’s the extreme way I’ve been thoroughly fucked over in the past by people I was supposed to trust like that that makes it seem almost impossible. Sorry for sort of ranting sometimes when I get frustrated I just end up rambling . But either way that is the part I’m having the biggest problems with.

      2. I can understand that thought process. And you may want to find a Daddy Dom but no call him daddy. That is something you could work on with your dominant. Its not a rant, we are here to support one another and sometimes rather than write, we listen. You’ll find your way through the wilderness, so to speak. Then its a clearer path. Many hugs to you.

  3. Hello Carina,
    Well, I can understand your reluctance about the word «Daddy »
    All which touches the childhood is sensitive and very intimate.
    And I respect it.
    I have no particular preference Daddy,Sir,Master, it’s never what defines me.
    It’s her feeling and that’s why I let my submissive free to call me as she feels.

    Beautiful Day :-)

  4. It’s true titles really don’t matter. It’s more the mindset that needs to get past the concepts. As always thank you Symon for sharing your wonderful thoughts.

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