Its been a few days since I’ve last posted. There are several reasons behind the distance.
- Busy time at work
- Being pulled or pushed by my former Dom
- Good news in my personal and professional life
- Meeting someone new
From the last few posts in April, you know that my former has been contacting me and placing demands on me. This has been a challenge to stay true to me and not give in to those demands. He has been a force in my life both good and bad. BUT I’ve learned much from him. He unlocked my submissiveness, he found and awoken my sexual core, he forced me to see myself and accept who and what I am. These were hard as hell to deal with but I’m grateful all the more because he never let up. Even now, after he said goodbye again, he isn’t letting up. He says I need to learn and accept myself. I cannot argue with him on this, but is he the right one for this stage in my journey? He got emotionally cruel, he got demanding, but there is a point to his madness. Have I searched my soul deeply enough?
Today he wants me to search hard and deep to determine if I’ll either willingly accept myself and his place in my world, be forced to accept it or does he never speak to me again.
In the midst of all of this, I’ve met someone wonderful. He has given me such peace and happiness in what has been such an emotional roller coaster. He fits with me, he seems to get me and he seems to see the parts of me that I’m not easily open about. He makes me happy. So much so, that I want to move forward with him. There is such a bright future ahead – no matter where it leads. In the few weeks that I’ve known him, I’ve been lighter, happier and more joyful.
And added to this, I’ve gotten accepted into a program that I wanted to and I’ve expanded my role and responsibilities at work. I’ve seen old friends who’ve told me they’ve missed me. Its been so encouraging.
So is May multi-layered like an ice cream sundae….. with a cherry on top?